WHY WORKING HARD IS NOT ENOUGH

“We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.” Hebrews 6:11-12

The Korean TV series ‘In My Twenties’ has one heroine working three jobs while studying in college. Her brother is in a coma, and paying hospital bills and all, the debts naturally piled up. She had to run from one job to another, hardly ever seeing the point of any party or celebration for any reason. But when she could not bear it any longer, she planned to just pull all the plugs on her brother, and end her life, thereafter. But her mom beat her to it. The Mom was arrested for unlawful euthanasia and was sentenced to two years in prison. The twenty-something’s plot narrative [there are four other heroines in their twenties in this series] only worsened because she then had to pay the loan sharks with all her savings. And at her waiting job, her boss was sexually harassing her. After holding it in for so long she quit that job, and slept a long while for the first time in her young busy life. She remained a sales girl at a convenience store on the evening shift. The redeeming value of the story is when she found comfort in the loving arms of an understanding boyfriend.

Season two focused less on her misfortunes but on how she quickly identified with another she saw who’se life trajectory seemed similar to hers. The new character was a struggling idol whose seven year contract with the agency she is now working in was terminated at his fifth year. He is a pitiable character who worked really hard to be noticed as an idol. But their group did not gain traction and disbanded upon the termination of the contract. Our twenty-something working girl told him point blank that it wasn’t enough to work hard. Her experience told her that however much she tried, she just ended up where she just didn’t dream she would be. As she worked in the entertainment agency as a clerk, she is beginning to see how in this industry, so much depends on luck. But since everybody is working hard, it would be unfair to say those who got famous were at their peak because of sheer luck.

In a podcast, I listened to a story of a couple who really worked diligently, day by day. Their goal isn’t so they will be noticed or so they will have fame or glory, that they weren’t bothered about their work and identity bordering on anonymity. They were not worried that nobody knows anything about them, but they made sure to tackle even the most trivial day’s task as something to be done with discipline and diligence.

In their last days, the couple have been known to have written books, translated into many languages, counseled and spoken to people they met in their travels. They worked hard at every thing they did that their impact resonates on many a people’s lives.

One character in the Bible, Mary Magdalene, is given the grace of being one ‘whose action will be remembered’. Her most memorable act was when she poured expensive perfume on Jesus feet in her intense desire to honor him. She was later on criticized by the self-righteous disciple for wasting something that costs a year’s salary. But for Jesus, she will be remembered for all eternity.

I ponder on how I have proceeded with my life. The pastor in church today said that everybody who follows Jesus must leave their ego at the door and not pick it up, ever back again.

I believe that what’s wrong with simply working hard is when it is done solely for self-actualization. Even when it is done for an other who probably does not even recognize it for what its worth, the ‘sacrifice’ is for self-gratification, or to assuage some guilt, or to make oneself treated better, ot to be accepted in a niche, clique or family.  But working hard should focus on pleasing only Jesus. What does it matter if we’re skilled and talented if all of that we are storing are earthly treasures – that is, our lives don’t end here, after all. If the Lord Jesus is pleased with our ‘acts’, if we are worshiping him in our ‘hard labor’ in this life – this will yield a different narrative.

I am wondering about the cynicism of the twenty-something heroine, and her complete acceptance of the grimness of life. Our twenty-something witnesses to an existential world view and completely disregards hope. Her character is always wearing a long face, rarely smiling. That could be the result of her acceptance of defeat.

The frustrated idol was fighting an injustice done to him and his band, his hope remains there, in the struggle. You simply don’t give up and let the balance of power tip you off the scale. Although things seem useless, anger against injustice is better than apathy. Yes, life is difficult. Yes, our youthful dreams may get shattered early on, and then we will probably lose our way and live a life that isn’t what we’ve dreamt about. But we can’t deduct hope from our life’s trajectory. If we constantly believe that hope is wishful thinking, then we will also stop praying.

God isn’t finished with us. He does not lie, so if He is our main audience for everything we do, we can hold on to His promise that he will honor our diligence. Should we worry that our names would not leave any legacy on this world? That isn’t what is important here. I should worry more if my name will not register in His book for I was working hard simply as a result of self-worship.

NOSTALGIA FOR POETRY

In my late twenties, when my first real office boss was resigning and about to move on to another job, I wrote him a long thank you poem. He found the old poem today while cleaning up, probably inserted in some pages of one of his many diaries. When I saw a photo-reproduction of my mid 90s poem, I am struck by my self-confidence then, how brave I was to send away a mere colleague with a heartfelt poem! The twelve-stanza rhyming quatrains appears quaint and amateurish to me now. I wouldn’t dare show it to any netizen on Facebook. On hindsight, giving him a poem was boasting about my ability to craft melodic lines. Back then, confident about my skill in Balagtasismo, I gave this fan of my amateur poetry at least three more poems.

Today, an acquaintance from Batangas City gifted her husband with a beautiful poem for their 8th anniversary.  The poem in free verse juxtaposes her happiness and fear in loving someone so near, a tribute to their intimate and committed union. Her piercing Tagalog lines is from the voice of someone safely anchored on poetry’s shores. After reading her poetry, I was tempted to upload one poem from my unpublished collection – Hugos. Unfortunately, I lack the courage to exhibit my poems on social media.

The last poems I posted on facebook in 2010 were a series of verses for Inay. As a freelancer managing a website, I occasionally blogged some poems. Since I revised more than I finalized, my poems are never finished. Often when I was done revising, I could hardly recognize the original intention of the poem. I thought that poetry was what I could write best. But I have not published a  poem since my mid thirties.

Hugos is a collection of my more than thirty poems recovered and revised from past crafting. Hopefully, they will be bound, stand with a spine, and become a book.

ROUTE TO BLOGGING

My website https://www.english-to-tagalog.com yielded only minimal passive income. The fault was entirely mine since I may claim to know how to write – even with SEO in mind, but I hardly wrote regularly. The ten-day tutorial for solopreneurs at Sitesell held all the secrets for success, however, I perused the masterful tips for the first two days only, but skipped the rest, preferring to ‘wing it’ when posting my blogs.

Embarrassing to admit that all that money spent on the website hosting just went down the drain. Had I invested it in stocks, I probably would have earned enough dividends by now; probably, since I also don’t know anything about stocks. Retirement is scary when there’s no secure source of financial support for the retiree. But I refuse to panic. Instead, I would like to go back to more gainful blogging.

You tube videos on the topic of SEO insist that blogging is still relevant today. With Artificial Intelligence, blogging for websites is a breeze. You only need to ask the best questions for this robot writer to feed you the content you need for your business website. There is that assurance that you can be smart as you make this technology your ally. But with this new tool comes more insecurities – at least for this sixty-year-old, who is trying hard to come up with a retirement plan, with writing as a business.

Who is my primary audience?

The first and most important task is establishing my intention for this blog. Who am I writing it for? All the experts say that I need to be passionate about something in order to sustain a blog. One podcast maintains that a niche may seem limited yet robots gathering and distributing insights have the whole world to serve and satisfy. There is no denying a blog’s unlimited reach, once it is directed at someone. The blogs must address the perceived needs of the target readers. The topics must exude authority and the writing style must project empathy.

How do I streamline my intentions for this blog?

Every Monday night, I challenge myself to blog about a senior moment. {This is Blog B in my category of tasks. Blog A is for book reviews, Blog C, for writing, editing, and translation.] Neil Gaiman in his masterclass says that honesty is what carries him through as a writer. Maybe some of the experiences will resonate with the target audience, maybe they won’t, but If I stay honest, I might not run out of issues to talk about.

What decisions in blogging should be finalized as soon as possible?

I have long learned that keyword searches are a crucial next step. But before searching for free apps that will give me statistics on what senior citizens are typing on Google search, I should decide on a Webhost. It’s possible to overdo the research, subscribing to every YouTube channel that enlightens me on this matter. However, a friend writer always told me, “You need to overcome your lack of an ego strength to put yourself out there.” Going public with personal issues may be easier said than done, but if I treat blogging as a workshop platform for my word crafting, I might become bolder and more confident. Immediately, I invested on a domain, created a free website, and blogged on.

SENIOR MOMENTS

A friend posted on Facebook that she had another children’s book coming. While she claims she is not a writer, I am certain that she is spending her retirement days writing. Why I keep thinking about this certainty is a manifestation of envy. But other than envy and regret, procrastinations and lack of regular writing are my true enemies. During a celebration of the anniversary of the Christian Writers Fellowship, among all the members present, only I have not published a single book, poem, essay, or story in any other available platform in the past five years. This made me realize that sadness can also come from this, missing those moments of doing what one had so desired to do.

FIRST SENIOR MOMENT: generation gap alert

In a podcast called THINK MEDIA they have instructions on how to set up, sustain, and grow a YouTube channel to success. What makes it different from podcasts dealing with this subject is that the owner is a Christian. His spiels also share how he applies biblical principles to his business venture.

The norm in publishing has changed immensely. Those who aim to write a book has to begin with a marketing strategy that capitalizes on social media presence. They ‘must leverage’ the number of subscribers to their ‘YouTube Channel’ and later on publish an e-book, fully confident about their readers.

These more or less comprise the new, exciting challenges in writing and publishing. The question How to Write As a Christian has become more urgent in this age of Tiktok. Equally crucial is How to Address this generation gap in learning about marketing and publishing in the age of AI.

SECOND SENIOR MOMENT. health alert

I woke up with pain in my abdomen that persisted for a whole day. Apparently, these are the gallbladder stones acting up. I tried drinking my favorite Starbucks brew this morning but I had to throw the rest of the coffee and finished the corned beef pandesal later on. At lunch break, I had shrimp and clam soup with vegetables but left the rice scarcely touched. I drank only tea and warm water because I fear that this pain will get worse.

This morning at the Hospital I consulted with an opthalmologist, a gastroenterologist, an endocrinologist, and an ob-gynecologist. The obstetrician-gynecologist did a pap smear, and prescribed one dose of Funzela to be taken after meals. She wants to see me again next week, after ordering a transrectal ultrasound with a gentle reminder about cancer being asymptomatic.. The endocrinologist, ordered a laboratory test on all the metabolic functions related to my thyroid problem. Urine, blood cell count, cholesterol, sugar, tr4 THs, calcium, potassium, vitamin D — these were ticked in that doctor’s checklist. To have this test, I need to fast for eight hours. A mammography and ultra sound of the breast will follow in this series of medical examinations.

FOURTH SENIOR MOMENT. budget alert

This yearly check-up routine always takes about four to five days, and with pending laboratory tests, need to be pre-scheduled. The opthalmologist prescribed Torvadex for the bacteria on my eyelids. Unfortunately, Mercury drug is out of stock on that antibiotic. Naabak, the twice-a-day eye-drop solution and Optive Plus artificial tears for dry eyes are lifetime eye care maintenance that cost me more than a thousand pesos.

Not everybody can afford a health card. The pap smear alone cost 1400 pesos plus, which the health card covered. The medicines cost me 2000 plus on the discounted prescriptions, and 200 pesos on the undiscounted thyroid maintenance drug. Add the taxi fare and meal allowance during a series of check-ups and you become more convinced of the necessity of a side hustle that pays.

FIFTH SENIOR MOMENT. mortality alert

By the end of this month, I had been to three funeral wakes – the first one was ES’. From the testimonials about this former colleague, I heard new revelations. During his time at work, he seemed slow and unmotivated. But witnesses of his life’s routines gave testimonies of his caring attitude, and his active engagements in sharing the gospel. 

M’s mom, 98 years old at the time of her death, was an old woman with a joyous smile in her funeral picture. A video flashed pictures of her old self playing Angklung as a member of an orchestra. She left a legacy of a love for music to all her children. One picture had all of them, M included, playing a musical instrument in a family concert in church. M’s mom had lived a full life. She was a faithful steward of her gifts — a teacher, she got her Ph.D. in theology in her mid 60s.

Before this wake, another artist’s passing has stirred me up about the meaning of a life lived to its fullest. MA was a poet and a Christian activist who loved and served this country with the utmost creativity and patriotism. She compiled her poetry in a book called A Journey in Verse. Her memoir is a witness to how as a Christian activist, she had stood in the gap in praying and interceding for her country.

How do I live a fuller life in my 60s onward? Hopefully it is a life filled with kindness, like ES’, or in earnest stewardship of gifts like MN’s mom, or with love for the country and its people, like MA’s. This is impossible by one’s own effort. The only way to live a full life is by getting closer and more intimate with God, and to always be still before His presence to hear His Word of wisdom. These senior moments nudge me to live by faith and not by sight, onto a more Christ-filled life.

Blogging from Under the Loft: A Senior Citizen’s Writing Life in a Tiny Condo

Blogging from Under the Loft: A Senior Citizen’s Writing Life in a Tiny Condo

Rediscovering Routine After Turning Senior

For my book project THINGS, the task was clear: blog about new discoveries using an object in my condo as a writing trigger. But since April 2023, when I officially became a senior citizen, my daily routine has completely shifted. If I’ve made any discoveries, I haven’t faithfully recorded them as reflections inspired by things—a habit I promised myself I’d keep. The major culprit? Still my lack of discipline in consistent writing!

My Tiny Home Office Under the Loft Bed

Back in 2022, I installed a loft bed with a stair cabinet and moved my molave desk from the living room to the space under the bed. I designed it so I could sit and stand comfortably—finally, a small writing nook I could call my own. (The image above was my inspiration, though it’s not my actual room.)

This change was necessary because my sister and her son had taken over the entire living room. There’s now a folding study table for my nephew near the stairs and a work desk for my sister beside the front door. I’ve even thought about retrieving my old Narra desk from my brother’s resort in Batangas—the one I got from OMF when they let me work from home during my mother’s illness. That desk, with its deep drawers, could now be a useful storage space for my nephew’s clothes, which currently live in stacked plastic bins under his folding table.

Sharing the Condo Space—and the Chaos

I had a double bed installed for them in the living room, so that space no longer belongs to me. And honestly, that’s fine. Their clutter stays in their corner, and my under-the-loft writing space remains untouched.

To cheer myself up, I bought a new chair—not because it’s ergonomic, but because it looked great in my cozy nook. Unfortunately, it’s not ideal for writing. So, I pulled out my old blue folding metal chair, a trusty companion from my boarding days in Palanan, 2011. It’s not pretty, but it works. Meanwhile, my old rotating desk chair is now with my sister.

Sleeping Like a Senior: Loft Bed Woes and Foam Regrets

My current neck issues all trace back to sleeping on this loft bed in my 35-square-meter condo. Although the high bunk lets me sleep undisturbed by the bathroom traffic of my condo mates, I’m beginning to think it’s time to replace the foam with a flatter one for better sleep support.

Back when I had a proper bed that also served as a sofa, things felt different. My nephew used to hang around my bed more—playing, painting, or just watching the world from the window. Now he has his own space, his own fan, and his own Netflix time. He still occasionally asks if he can sleep beside me, but he’s grown so much, it’s not as comfy anymore. Still, I treasure the mornings when his little face pops up the loft stairs with a cheerful “Good morning Ninang.”

Learning to Blog Again: YouTube, WordPress, and Late-Life Tech

Today, instead of blogging about any exciting new discovery (because, frankly, I don’t have one), I spent half the day on YouTube learning about productive blogging for beginners and senior citizen content creators. I googled tutorials on how to manage my still-green websites. At my age, these technical things take time to understand. But I’m learning.

Hostinger Academy introduced me to a list of no-code web-building tools. Even though WordPress wasn’t on that list, Hostinger still directs me to it. I’ve been blogging on WordPress and slowly updating my confidantesite.blog one post at a time. At first, I was completely confused by the tutorials. But over time, I got used to spending hours learning how to build and maintain a basic website.

Missing SiteSell—and Discovering the Magic of ChatGPT

I honestly miss SiteSell, my old web host from 2004 to 2021. It was great for senior bloggers like me—full tutorials, easy troubleshooting, and clear directions. I used SiteBuildIt for WP, but I’m considering unsubscribing. Why? Because SEO tweaking is now so much easier with the help of ChatGPT—from crafting meta descriptions to generating keywords and content ideas.

Embracing My Tech-Challenged Self (with Help from AI)

In this little under-the-bunk writing cave, I think I’m doing okay navigating the digital world as a senior citizen. If you, my rare reader, want to learn the tools I use, just ask—though honestly, ChatGPT probably explains them better than I can.